Time to Change it up!

First, this is a tough week and I truly appreciate my friends reaching out to make sure I'm okay.  Thank you.  Your outpourings of love keep me smiling.  

As you know from my last blog, I have been stuck.  My good friend Jodi did some research and suggested that I change my routine.  So I'm bringing back the couch to 5K app and passing on the meltdowns (sorry to my meltdown buddies...we shall meltdown one day again).  Really, I just need a break from meltdowns - 6 months is awhile to do the same exact exercises.

Today I was back to day one of Couch to 5K.  It went great.  I'm sure I won't be saying that in a couple weeks, I have to say it was a great change of pace (ha) and my body feels energized yet worked.  It won't be easy the entire time.  It'll get more difficult.   But I'm up for a new challenge.  Last night as I was Watching Seamus waddling as he learns to perfect his walk, it was a great metaphor for me - I just have to keep trying...keep doing and never give up.  

A Peek Back

Coming up on the near end of our second 90-day Challenge, I'm finding myself looking back to 6 months ago to our first day.  For those who haven't heard the story, David (my brother) and I along with our spouses decided to start a 90-day challenge through Challenge Fitness with ViSalus.  I set up a time to meet with Dean and the four of us went to the gym.  I reassured my team that it was just for us to get weighed, measured and pictures.  Oh was I wrong.  Well, we did get weighed, measured and pictures....but we also endured our very first meltdown.  Let's just say it was a VERY quiet car ride home. That day changed us.

So here we are almost to the end of our second challenge.  I needed a comparison pic.  I needed to see my success - lately I've been feeling so frustrated over this plateau I've reached.  Over four weeks stuck at the same weight.  Busting my ass at the gym and making smart food choices yet still stuck.  I know it's not just about the scale, but when I've still got so far to go, seeing the same damn number on the scale week after week is a bit unmotivating.  Gah.  So I'm going to take my own advice and just keep on keeping on.  Changing up my workouts and helping others work towards their goals, keeps me interested and inspired. 

Two years ago around the six month mark of losing weight, we somehow stopped caring and starting gaining the weight back.  Then I got pregnant and complacent.  I allowed the plateau to take over and discourage me so much that I gave up.  Today, I recognize that.  I see we are at that point again and this time I am not going to stop caring.  I will continue to believe in myself.  I believe I will see the results I want.  At the beginning I told myself...give it a year, then check the results.  I'm only (almost) halfway.  I may be stuck but I'm not stopping.  Not this time.  

Thank you to so many people who inspire me, support me and encourage me.  I love you all!  Jodi...special recognition to you <3

If you are ready for a change...come meet with me and Dean on Dec. 17 at 7 pm at the new Challenge Fitness location.  Click this link for more info: https://www.facebook.com/events/517790498316403/

My comparison pics

Breaking Cycles

Thunder thighs, pudgy and other fat names still echo in my ears from childhood.  Additionally, this family member would pretend the room was shaking as I walked in.  This, coupled with teasing at school, forever altered my self image.  This low self image was the breeding grounds for self hate, feelings of worthlessness and skewed ideals of beauty.  

My husband was picked on in school and was the kid who always got blamed for the altercations and therefore punished.  Between the relentless teasing and unhealthy role models, he found himself in the kitchen for comfort.  Causing a vicious cycle of emotional eating to form.  

First and foremost, this is not a blog to make anyone feel bad.  Patrick and I both know that hindsight is 20/20 and if our families had a redo, it would be different.  With that said, we also know that our family's unintentional messages forever loom in the back of our minds.  Therefore, we are doing our best to be intentional with our children.  Clearly, as humans, we make mistakes and we can only do the best of what we know.  So our best is cooking healthy meals together, working with them at the gym, discussing smart/healthy choices and also doing our best to listen.  As parents, we have to set boundaries with discipline; these are the years of shaping and developing, we can be friends later in life.  However, with discipline still comes loads of love and encouragement.  

We are breaking the cycles that were trained into our families.  We are stopping the cycles with us.  No more McDonalds or fast food for dinner because we're in a hurry, no more eating fatty food as a reward for good behavior or accomplishments, no more eating based on emotions.  We are starting new healthier habits.   We are helping our children make smart choices and we discuss with them when they make poor choices.  We have learned and now we are choosing different for our kids.  

In what ways are you breaking cycles?

This is me in high school:

Day (almost) 100

Confession time: I skipped the gym today.   

Yes, I feel a little guilt inside.  I worried about what my workout buddies think.  I was concerned how this would be received by my "followers."  However, with all the things happening (which I can't wait to publicly share), plus doing two meltdowns a day, 5-days per week....I needed a little extra break.  So I took one.  

Now it's the end of the day, and as I reflect on my choice to play gym-hookey, as much as I missed it, I think it was good for me at the same time.  Over the last five months, I've been super dedicated and stringent about going; by skipping today and ultimately forcing myself to be okay with that, it was a big step in showing myself that I'm completely imperfect and that is perfectly alright.

Tomorrow will be my 100th day at the gym.  Coincidence?  We shall celebrate with two meltdowns (Patrick suggests three if we can squeeze them all in before Akira's dance class).  

I like cottage cheese now

So here's the thing, when I was eating crap food, my body craved crap food.  Or at least my brain told my body that it craved crap food.  I mean, I was never like "Oh my gosh, you know what sounds amazing!?  BRUSSEL SPROUTS."  No, it was more like "pizza, French fries, carbs."

Now, since I've been eating healthy, that's what I want.  I took the kids to dinner a couple weeks ago and when asked if I wanted fries or onion rings with my sandwich, I denied and asked for a salad.  

I'm not going to say I never crave junk, because sometimes a Reese's or French fries do sound good.  Or when I walk into the office and the team has donuts or cupcakes, I cannot lie and say I'm not tempted.   However, I know that those foods are not going to help me to reach my goals. 

So awhile back, I decided to give cottage cheese another go.  I never really liked it before.  Well now, I love it.  My friend Dean convinced me to try a little yogurt with it, wow.  It's so amazing!  My favorite is strawberry yogurt with cottage cheese.

Point is...eat right even if you don't think you like it.  Our tastes are not set in stone and by eating more of a particular food, you'll learn to enjoy it and you'll retrain your brain.  Perhaps I should give fish another try.....

What foods do you crave?

-Anora
anora13.myvi.net

RESOURCE:  http://www.womansday.com/health-fitness/7-things-you-didnt-know-about-your-taste-buds-119709

Make Attainable Goals

There's a dress on a hanger in my livingroom.  I originally bought it to go out to a celebration of some sort after our second 90-day challenge (in December). Two weeks ago I put it on and it zipped up!!  I got super excited and decided to pump up my workouts to help slim down my "trouble areas."  I had a new goal to wear the dress (size 10) to the event I have on the 27th of this month.  

Last week I did one meltdown per day, plus weights and mad dance.  This week I'm doing two meltdowns per day.  Oh, and by "I," I mean Patrick, Tom, Jodi, Spencer, and Katie...

So here we are, a couple days before the event.  The last two weeks, I have been confident it would fit just as I imagined.  I put the dress on just to see how close I was...only to be disappointed.  The dress fit.  It zipped.   But it didn't quite look as I imagined it.  It wasn't bad, but it wasn't fantastic.  I felt the tears building up...I have worked so hard and felt I should look different...

I realize now that even though I worked harder than ever during workouts these last two weeks, it was still too late of a start and honestly the goal was very unrealistic - ambitious, but unrealistic.  I JUST got back into a 12, how could I possibly believe I'd be in a 10 that quickly.  What I've re-learned here is that it's great to make goals, to be ambitious and work extra hard for something; but in that same vain, I need to be realistic. 

So, not devastated anymore.  I am proud of my accomplishments (see the pic below of what I wore to work the other day!!).  I will fit into the dress, just as I imagined, in December!  

Anyone want to celebrate with me? 

Anora13.myvi.net

I'm *not* Normal, and I'm really okay with it

I started a blog all about how I'm just a normal person losing weight.  Then as I kept typing, I realized...you know what...no!  Fuck that, I am not "normal."

I am not busting my ass every day at the gym, and adding extra cardio once a week with mad dance just to be normal.  The American norm is sitting at home watching TV eating pizza or running from kid event to kid event and grabbing McDonalds in between.  That is not us.  We pack healthy home-made meals to take for in between kid events.  We gym, walk, mad dance (or other cardio), we do random push up contests at home or pull ups on our open back stairs.  We try new ab workouts on my exercise ball...Not normal.  

And truthfully, I am completely okay with that.  I've always been a little socially awkward, may as well be abnormal too.  

I want to inspire others to stray from the "Norm" ...  We could create a new norm. One that will enrich our lives, and help us to become all that we really can be.  

I can and I will achieve my goals.  So join me in being "not normal"....You will likely find me at Challenge Fitness M-F at 4 pm sweating like a champion.  

Xo - Anora

anora.myvi.net

Our First 90

Confession: I'm extremely embarrassed to post this because I am mortified by my before pictures.  However, I keep reminding myself, that's the old me.  I will never be her again, because I am sick of starting over. I will only keep going. 

This....is why I go to the gym 5-days a week.  

This....is why I Mad Dance every week. 

I can do things now that I have never been able to do my entire life, even including two years ago when I lost so much weight - I lacked lean muscle.  I can do an entire workout based around push-ups, side kicks through an entire dance song, planks, 130 squats and still going...I will finish the squat challenge and complete 250 squats......push-ups, push-ups, push-ups!  As my husband says, "Doing things you have never done before, in your entire life, is AMAZING."

I ViSalus not because it's a magic shake that will make me lose weight.  but I ViSalus because I know I have issues with food and ViSalus takes the worry out if eating.  It is convenient, healthy, easy to make and cheaper than eating out for lunch.  I never, not one time, have felt guilty for drinking a shake.  I know my body is getting fueled properly.  I know that by eating within my calorie allotment, I will be where I want to be.  

I will reach my goals because I believe in myself so I know I will see the results!

Our first 90-Day Challenge is complete. I have lost 13 inches and 18 pounds.  Patrick has lost 12.5 inches, 15 pounds and he's gained a lot of defined muscle...I assure you ;)

Let's see where 90 more takes us. 

Anora:   anora.myvi.net

Patrick:   pmo.myvi.net

Dear Dean...

As I write the last blog of my first 90-day challenge, I realize I have so many people who have supported me through this process.  For example, my brother, David, and sister-in-law, Christina, have been awesome team mates!! I seriously look forward to seeing their continued changes.  We have come so far over the course of three months - Christina can certainly do some killer butt lifts.

Then there's my amazing sister-in-law, Kelly, who has taken Seamus (and sometimes the big kids too) every single day, five days per week for an hour, over the last two months, so Patrick and I could workout.  Plus she has joined me at Mad Dance which has been such a fun experience to share with her (especially with our gangsta headbands).  

My husband is right by my side telling me on a near daily basis, things like, "babe, you need to give yourself more credit, you are doing great."  He pushes me to do my best and lifts my spirit when I'm down.  The checking me out and compliments certainly boost my ego!  

My kids love seeing my new muscles (...not that I'm showing off or anything) and they always ask if we have been to the gym yet; I love that they expect us to go every day.  If I even considered skipping a day, I'd feel like I was letting them down. 

Then, there's this guy named Dean.  He's a fitness coach, motivator, friend, mentor and counselor all rolled into one cool person.  Dean has shared some of his big picture ideas for Challenge Fitness, and although I'm not sure how much I can share, I know I can say he is going to change a lot of lives!  

One of the most impactful things for me to see in order to believe in myself, are before/after (or for me, current progress) photos. So as a photographer on the side, I have offered to do before and after photos (including an "after" mini-session) for his 90-day Challenge participants completely free.  I am just so excited to be a part of changing people's lives by genuinely and lovingly supporting people the best way I can. 

I cannot do as great of a job without the support of these really incredible people, so a huge a thank you to each of you.  I will reach my goals - as Dean says Believe to See.   I believe I will see results....I already do....

Progress!

Well, I started June 24th in a size 18 and now, 74 days into the challenge and I'm down to a 14.  So far I have lost 10 1/2 inches and 15 pounds.  Feels great to be getting back on track.  

Sitting in my closet is a box full of size 10s and 12s...I am itching for them to fit.  It is driving me crazy to wear the same outfits each week, but I don't want to go shopping because I won't be here long.  My goal is to be back into my clothes that are stashed away.....and no stopping there.  

So in 16 days, we are doing the 90-day challenge again.  I want to do it until the 90-day challenge transforms my body and becomes my new habit and lifestyle.  

I'm almost to my first goal (lose 20 pounds) and my second (wearing my closet stash of clothes) isn't far behind.  From there I'm excited to see how my new lifestyle will transform my body even more. It feels really good to actually be on track to meet my goals.  

Excuse the fierce "workout complete" expression in my 'current progress' pic.  Haha.  The before face on the left was the first part of July (two weeks into the challenge). 

Check out My amazing, supportive, loving, awesome husband!!

No Rest for the Committed

I've been fighting a cough for over a week.  I've had the chills for about half of that time and I had a fever over the weekend.  I feel tired and ready for sleep.  I don't want to sound like a martyr and I'm simply not a warrior.  That is not what this blog is about today.  I just don't want to have any excuses...even being sick.  That's where excuses start - come up with one and suddenly all the excuses start to "make sense."

Maybe it seems strange that I left work early to get some extra rest (I slept for 3.5 hrs straight) but I still went to the gym.  Perhaps if I explain it differently, it'll make more sense.  

As a full time employee at the same company for over 10 years, I have built up a stock of vacation days (which can also be used as sick days). I have earned that time over the course of the 10 years.  However, I have only been going to the gym 2 months.  I have not been there long enough to build up vacation (or sick) days.  

So even though I used lighter weights today, at least I was still there.  I gave no excuses and I went.  Illness, children, busy schedule, sore muscles are no longer excuses!!  My sister-in-law Kelly posted on her wall yesterday that she wet running late at night because "doing it tomorrow" is a thing of the past.  My brother, David, mentioned yesterday that we have been gyming Mon-Friday for 2 months (5 days a week).  There's no reason to make any excuses to skip a day.  It'll take doctors orders to keep me out of the gym!  Even my weird c-section incision issue hasn't kept me out of the gym.  

We are coming up on day 60 (Thursday). I'll be posting some progress pics very soon!   For now, here's a cute baby :)

My Why

Our shirts for the Challenge came in today.  So now I'm sorting through all the thoughts in my head to determine My Why.  My first reason why is that I am sick of being fat.  Basically my entire adult life I have been varied from overweight to obese. I am tired of feeling shitty about how I look.  I want to be a size 10!  the year before I got pregnant with Shay, Patrick and I both worked really hard to lose 50 pounds each.  I got down to my smallest size ever (size 10), I want to be there again!  Another reason why is because I want to look smoking hot for my husband.  No elaboration necessary, however somehow he overlooks my rolls...I just don't want him to have to "see through it" anymore.  My final and most important reason is to be an example of healthy living for my children. We did 3 minutes of planks together tonight.  I know my kids are watching everything I do...I want them to see how important my health is to me - actions speak louder than words!  

Who hates push ups anyway?

"I HATE.....no despise....push ups!"  Words that echoed from my lips even just last week.  Well, I take it back.  Not that I love them by any means, because I certainly do not, however they are far more tolerable now since I can actually do them.  That's right, I can do push-ups.  Not just a modified 'on my knees' push-ups either.  I can do both regular and modified decline push-ups, normal push-ups, incline push-ups, wide arm push-ups and as of last week, decline close-grabbing push-ups.  So I eat my words, they're not so bad now.  

Push-ups, of course, are not the only exercise I have seen super awesome improvements.  I've been upping my weights, I can do 20 leg lifts, sit ups and I can do planks on each side and front for 30 seconds, then modified for the other 30 seconds.  

Yes.  I am proud.  

So a couple blogs ago I was commenting on how I was having trouble seeing results.  Well, I need to just shut my mouth and continue to trust the process. Since June 24 and starting the challenge, I have lost 10 pounds and 7.5 inches.  53 days of 5-day a week gym, 3 weeks of mad-dance and 3 weeks of running, starting to really pay off.  Patrick and I have decided we are in for a second round of the challenge.  With school starting soon, fitting in gym time will become more taxing, but we WILL meet our goals.  

I was looking back at my measurements from our big lose in 2011 (before my 3rd pregnancy in 2012), and I have come to the conclusion that I am being too hard on myself.  It took us both approximately 6 months to get to the 50 pound loss that year, I'm just now Closing in on completing the 2nd month - plus last time all I did was run, I wasn't at the gym building lean muscle and toning.  

37 days left of this challenge. I'm excited to see the results continue....

Speaking of results, have you seen my husband!  Hot.  

 

So why Vi?

ViSalus is that meal replacement drink that everyone has been talking about.  Yes, I've tried many different diets in my lifetime and the only thing that really works is eating right and exercising.  Just like everyone who's healthy says - so why Vi?  Well, it's my easy way out to eating healthier....

After getting pregnant, I got lazy. I started back into some bad eating habits.  Eating out, fast food, unhealthy snacks...all things that seem easy to change.  But toss in our crazy busy summer schedule (we're lucky to find time for showers, let alone portioning foods for the week).  So we Vi.  For us, it is the easy option.  Using the shakes gives me the ease of not having to make a decision on what to eat (which is a whole other dilemma for me).  Breakfasts are no longer skipped because I'm rushing out the door, lunches are no longer $10-15 meals, and dinner - well, my husband plans.  

I do think viSalus could be life changing for someone who has had a lifelong issue with over eating, eating unhealthy, or the inability or dedication to count calories.  It has not necessarily been life altering for me, but it has been a time saver and a huge stress relief.  I don't have to calculate what I'm able to eat that day due to calorie allotments, I never skip meals anymore and I don't feel guilty when I do eat.

Do you find yourself eating out a lot? Skipping meals?  Eating too much?  Never able to keep with the calorie counting?  I suggest giving ViSalus a try.

As a side note: I loathe Thursday workouts. 

*Seamus is not actually drinking my shake, however he wishes he could.  

Skinny arms, fat thighs

I love seeing my husband so motivated to get (and stay) healthy.  Not to mention, he's looking mighty fine, but I hate that men lose weight so much "easier" and quicker.  I know that he's worked really hard to lose what he has, but damn...I've worked really fucking hard too.  He's down a pants size...his chest looks amazing....his face is thinner....

I am not losing motivation, I just want to see results in myself.  I do see my arms are looking thinner, and building muscle/toning; but my thighs and after-Seamus-belly are still fluffy, and jiggly.  I know it doesn't happen over night...but it's been over 30 days of consistent gym 5 days a week and now we've added running too. 

Looking forward to the big picture: My goal is to lose 32.4 pounds and be back into a size 10 by Dec. 18 - this gives me 20 weeks.  That will equate to about 1.6 pounds a week from now until then.  I am feeling healthy and stronger....just not thinner.  

Anyone else struggling with not seeing results?  What do you do to stay encouraged?

I Crave More (and so does he)

My husband left me speechless today.  My husband...the home-body who hates  the thought of running and whom I had to convince to go to the gym 30 days ago. He left me speechless when he said, upon picking me up from work to head to the gym, "I feel like I could run.  Like...I want to go running."  I sat in silence.

See, I too have been craving more.  I love our meltdowns and gym workouts, but I feel like my body is ready for more.  However, I'm struggling with how to incorporate MORE into our already busy schedule - work, kids, kid schedules, oh and maintaining our marriage too.  I'd love to add mad dance, running, boot camp workouts....

My response to Patrick was something like:  "Are you kidding me?!  I'll totally run with you."  And then of course the planning process started to roll in my head because I need to figure out how to make this happen before he changes his mind!  So as I'm trying to brainstorm a kid plan, My 8 year old pipes up from the back seat, "Mommy, I could ride my bike with you!"  And my 6 year old says, "I can too Mom!"  Then there's the baby....Patrick says, "I'll push the baby in his stroller."  

So tonight, we run.  Day 1, Couch to 5K, WITH my husband and children. 

Speechless. 

UPDATE:  Westley (8) rode his bike along with Patchy while he pushed the stroller.  I took Akira (6) along with me (she's a beginner biker without training wheels).  It wasn't pretty...but we did it!!  

Don't ever give up!

Shouldn't motivating myself for gym-time get easier as I continue to regularly attend?  Then why the hell was today so freakin hard?  I dreaded going the whole time up until I was actually there.  Thankfully right now there is no other option other than to go.  With 68 days left of the 90-day challenge, there is no quitting or taking days off because I've committed myself to the full 90-days.

I'm not really even sure why I was so "Negative Nancy" about the gym today because I surprised myself.  I moved up in dumbbell weights, I did more butt lifts than ever and I rocked jumping jacks like a boss (well, compared to day 1 at least).  

I guess my takeaway from today was, when the going gets tough...get tougher and just go anyway.  Push through the negative thoughts like I did today and just go.  I know that tomorrow, next week, next month and next year I will thank myself for going today.  

 

 

Trust the Process

The scale hasn't moved much and although I know my body is changing and I know I am getting stronger, I still can't help feeling a little bit down.  

Our fitness coach Dean keeps saying "trust the process".  I feel like it is the slowest gosh darn process ever and it's making me frustrated.  

Then yesterday, I woke up to the below text from a friend.  

Getting this text was just what I needed.  So I measured myself and have lost 4 inches (2 from my chest, 1 from my waist, 1 from my hips). Nothing too spectacular, but it's something.  19 days of the 90 day challenge complete, 71 to go!  

ABS

ABS and I don't mean antilock brake system, however, that is how I felt today.  During my first ab workout, my entire core said...Nope, not today - big red stop sign.  Body brakes slammed to the floor.  But I pushed through it.  If I keep doing what I've always done, I'll always get what I've always got.  Time to break old habits and normalities.  

I imagine that actually having abs would help during 'ab' day.  I know it is not much of an epiphany in and of itself, but factor in the  that I have really never worked my abs (let alone have a flat tummy). I know that even though it is hard as hell and even though I feel like a bit of a loser for sucking so bad today, I know that with continued efforts it will get better.  

One week complete

The first week of the Meltdown Workouts = complete.  In the first week I have bid farewell to 6.8 (basically 7) pounds from my body.  I remember the first 10 pounds went really fast last time, so although I'm super excited, I'm still guarded.  I know in order to truly make this a life style change and to forever remain healthy, it is going to take a lot of work and dedication.  So far, I don't miss the old habits (even smoking) but I know the day will come when it isn't so easy.  Which is why I am so glad to have people doing this with me.  Even the ones who aren't on the same path as me as still supporting me as I go - encouraging and pushing me.  And for that, I thank you.  

Saw this quote this morning...it reminded me of my blog from the other day.  

I'm not starting over again.  I've done that enough times and its not easy.  I'd rather just keep on, keepin on.  

I Can Walk Again!

Day 1 - Day 4 killed my legs.  I couldn't walk like a normal person.  In fact, I had to use the railings up and down steps....and when I say "use the railings" I mean death grip with hobbling.  I'm sure anyone observing from a distance would be super amused and entertained - which I can say I know for a fact since I heard the office ladies giggling as I limped by.  And please, don't feel bad for me - I did it to myself by choosing to be the lazy pregnant lady and gain double what I should have.  

So today, Day 5 comes....I am of course sore, but when I stood up out of bed this morning I could actually stand without clenching onto Seamus's crib (yes, he still sleeps with us - a conversation for another day).

I believe we were all feeling pumped for the gym today "just cardio wouldn't be so bad.  We'll just say, our opinions may have changed.  We sweat our asses off.  It really was a great workout.  I absolutely love my workout buddies who double as my husband, brother and sister-in-law (pictured  with me in our 'before' group shots you see).  I also love our Challenge Team (add Jessica and Alissa from work). It's awesome to have a group of people pushing and supporting each other without judgment or criticism.  Remember Team, In 90-days...heck even in a month, we will all be so glad we did this.  I can already feel a difference in my body after only 5 days.  

We've got this.  

90 Day Challenge

When I got pregnant with Seamus, I was in a size 10 - the smallest I have ever been in my entire life.  Then I slowly sank back into bad habits again and now I'm back in a size 18.  I'm not proud of that one bit.  It's embarrassing to be the inspiring fat friend who loses weight only to gain it all (or close to all) back again.  I certainly feel like I let a lot of people down (including myself).  

I told myself when we quit smoking this last (Last) time, I cannot start again just for the sake of not wanting to have to quit again.  It's not an easy thing to do.  Similarly, losing weight sucks and I never want to do it again.  And when I say sucks, I mean it is really fucking hard to do.  It's physically and mentally exhausting. 

Patrick, my brother, sister-in-law and I decided to do the ViSalus 90-Day Challenge with Challenge Fitness out of Charlevoix.  Dean works with each group or individual on a transformation program (I think its called The Meltdown).

I am committed to 90-days of workouts and changing my eating around.  I couldn't be more thrilled to have a group of awesome people supporting me and pushing through the pain at the same time.  Because....it is day 3 of the gym and I literally cannot walk.  I talked them into it because I couldn't do this without them.