Sunday, November 17, 2013

Breaking Cycles

Thunder thighs, pudgy and other fat names still echo in my ears from childhood.  Additionally, this family member would pretend the room was shaking as I walked in.  This, coupled with teasing at school, forever altered my self image.  This low self image was the breeding grounds for self hate, feelings of worthlessness and skewed ideals of beauty.  

My husband was picked on in school and was the kid who always got blamed for the altercations and therefore punished.  Between the relentless teasing and unhealthy role models, he found himself in the kitchen for comfort.  Causing a vicious cycle of emotional eating to form.  

First and foremost, this is not a blog to make anyone feel bad.  Patrick and I both know that hindsight is 20/20 and if our families had a redo, it would be different.  With that said, we also know that our family's unintentional messages forever loom in the back of our minds.  Therefore, we are doing our best to be intentional with our children.  Clearly, as humans, we make mistakes and we can only do the best of what we know.  So our best is cooking healthy meals together, working with them at the gym, discussing smart/healthy choices and also doing our best to listen.  As parents, we have to set boundaries with discipline; these are the years of shaping and developing, we can be friends later in life.  However, with discipline still comes loads of love and encouragement.  

We are breaking the cycles that were trained into our families.  We are stopping the cycles with us.  No more McDonalds or fast food for dinner because we're in a hurry, no more eating fatty food as a reward for good behavior or accomplishments, no more eating based on emotions.  We are starting new healthier habits.   We are helping our children make smart choices and we discuss with them when they make poor choices.  We have learned and now we are choosing different for our kids.  

In what ways are you breaking cycles?



This is me in high school:



2 comments:

  1. I've been thinking on the same thing lately...how unintentional, teasing, seemingly innocent (or knowingly cruel) comments can have lingering affects on your psyche. I have three brothers, was always a tomboy...and when I was younger my dad played catch with me. A great activity except that he was working with me so I didn't 'throw like a girl'. Innocent enough comment at the time, but really, what does that mean? That doing something 'like a girl' means an inferior attempt? As I'm becoming more aware of how I react to or do certain things, I find that I've unconsciously bought into that mindset along the way. So, when I feel that 'not only am I going to do this, but I'll do it as good as he can' urge coming on, I try to back off and see where it's coming from...is it just my competitive nature coming out or is it the voice of my dad telling me not to do it 'like a girl'. Certainly an ongoing process. And I suppose having 5 boys only fueled that fire... :-)

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  2. Exactly! Thanks for sharing Karen :)

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