My Forever Journey

Follow my forever journey here: http://anorasjourney.blogspot.com/

Time to get Uncomfortable

Remember when you first started working out and you could barely walk because your muscles were so sore?  Remember when your body was losing weight and inches quickly because exercising and eating right was all new and confused your body?  Remember when making yourself go to the gym took a lot of support from others?

I remember that too.  I remember when it was all new, exciting, and challenging.  Then sometime into my second 90-day challenge, I got comfortable.  I hit a plateau and my progress ceased.  I still went to the gym regularly, had my ViSalus shakes regularly and I didn't gain anything back (thankfully).  I was just doing it all out if habit and keeping myself consistent.  

My friend reached out to me and said something along the lines of being fearful of going back to old bad habits.  That's when it hit me (and her)....we need to get our asses in gear again.  We are too comfortable.  We need to push it.  Consistency and new habits are great, but we are not going to see results unless we push beyond our current abilities for more.  

So instead of "going to the gym" to create a habit (that's already done), we need to go to literally work our asses off. We have also started logging our daily diets on myfitnesspal again.  Drinking shakes does not make us invinsible from eating poorly (which includes not eating enough or eating too much).  We are taking it 30 days at a time.  My First goal is to lose 10 pounds by March 1.  So it's sort of like when we first started as far as needing support and accountability.  Except this time instead of creating new healthy habits, we are fine tuning those habits and pushing beyond our current limits. 

My Why

Our shirts for the Challenge came in today.  So now I'm sorting through all the thoughts in my head to determine My Why.  My first reason why is that I am sick of being fat.  Basically my entire adult life I have been varied from overweight to obese. I am tired of feeling shitty about how I look.  I want to be a size 10!  the year before I got pregnant with Shay, Patrick and I both worked really hard to lose 50 pounds each.  I got down to my smallest size ever (size 10), I want to be there again!  Another reason why is because I want to look smoking hot for my husband.  No elaboration necessary, however somehow he overlooks my rolls...I just don't want him to have to "see through it" anymore.  My final and most important reason is to be an example of healthy living for my children. We did 3 minutes of planks together tonight.  I know my kids are watching everything I do...I want them to see how important my health is to me - actions speak louder than words!  

Skinny arms, fat thighs

I love seeing my husband so motivated to get (and stay) healthy.  Not to mention, he's looking mighty fine, but I hate that men lose weight so much "easier" and quicker.  I know that he's worked really hard to lose what he has, but damn...I've worked really fucking hard too.  He's down a pants size...his chest looks amazing....his face is thinner....

I am not losing motivation, I just want to see results in myself.  I do see my arms are looking thinner, and building muscle/toning; but my thighs and after-Seamus-belly are still fluffy, and jiggly.  I know it doesn't happen over night...but it's been over 30 days of consistent gym 5 days a week and now we've added running too. 

Looking forward to the big picture: My goal is to lose 32.4 pounds and be back into a size 10 by Dec. 18 - this gives me 20 weeks.  That will equate to about 1.6 pounds a week from now until then.  I am feeling healthy and stronger....just not thinner.  

Anyone else struggling with not seeing results?  What do you do to stay encouraged?

Owning it!

I was so upset last week because I just started my 10K training program and on the third day…boom, shin splints.  I felt super motivated, energized and ready to rock it out.  Then part way through my run I was in tears from the excruciating pain.  I slowly and tenderly walked back to my car, with salty drips of frustration coming from my eyes…maybe I’m being slightly dramatic, but really, it’s extremely frustrating for me.  I’m ready mentally and my body says – Nope….too soon.  So listening to my body, I gave myself another [almost] week off. 

Today I eased into another run…mostly by mistake.  I wanted to attempt roller blading while pushing the kids in the stroller, it seemed like it would be easier.  HA!  Pushing 120 pounds while roller blading for the first time in YEARS [too many to even attempt counting] was a lot harder than I assumed it would be.  I wimped out after 10 minutes [fail] and ran instead [win].  I could feel my shin pinching, so I slowed my pace.  I decided to not push too much and did about a 20 minute run plus 25 minutes of walking.  If you add in the 10 minutes of roller blading that’s a 55 minute workout – so I feel pretty good about that. 

The other day I was looking for quotes for a new tattoo [which I’ll explain shortly] and I found this quote from Jillian Michaels:  When friends tell you how awesome you look, drop the "I still have more to go" crap.  You worked hard and you deserve the compliment!

The quote made me think of how I struggle with compliments.  Any time Patrick, or friends and family have complimented me on my success [so far], I of course thank them and usually add a comment about how far I still have to go…or other random negative things.  So keeping that at the forefront of my thoughts lately, I’m trying really hard to just say ‘thank you’ and end it there.  Tonight after our…well, after my workout…the kids and I stopped at Glen’s to pick up dinner because there was no way this Mama was cooking.   I ran into someone I haven’t seen since probably close to December and she says to me “Wow, you’ve lost a lot of weight, haven’t you?” and I said “Yes, I have.  36 pounds so far.”  As the number 36 rolled of my lips I thought, my GOSH that’s a lot [only 4 pounds from my new Silver Jeans].  Then she said to me, “You look great!”  Embarrassed as usual I felt the warmth of blushing in my cheeks and I simply answered “Thank you.  Thank you very much.”  And right then and there my friends, I owned every bit of that 36 pound loss.  Every ounce lost, every shin splinting pain, every ibuprofen I’ve had to take….I owned it.  I felt really proud and it felt good.  [I’m such a sap…tearing up just typing that].

So about the tattoo…our dear friends Tom and Stacy Heath have been working close with us at this weight loss stuff.  Holding each other accountable, bitching to each other when we’re frustrated, and just supporting each other…you know, the whole 9 yards [whatever that means].  So Patrick and I had this brilliant idea to get some sort of tattoo once we have all reached our goal weight.  The tats do not have to match, but we’ll all go together.  I’m sure there will be some emotional tears as this has been quite a life changing and motivating process for all of us. 

I’m looking to create something that will really express what this whole journey has meant to me.  I’ve thought about maybe one of my favorite quotes or maybe a symbol that represents the meaning in the quote.  For example I love this quote:  Don't let the fear of the time it will take to accomplish something stand in the way of your doing it. The time will pass anyway; we might just as well put that passing time to the best possible use. ~Earl Nightingale   The quote itself is a little long, so I thought of maybe doing a vintage looking pocket watch [location of tattoo to be determined…open to suggestion, although would like to keep it somewhere easy to cover up]

I also love the quote: All my life I had been looking for something, and everywhere I turned someone tried to tell me what it was. I accepted their answers too, though they were often in contradiction and even self-contradictory. I was naïve. I was looking for myself and asking everyone except myself questions which I, and only I, could answer. It took me a long time and much painful boomeranging of my expectations to achieve a realization everyone else appears to have been born with: that I am nobody but myself. ~Ralph Ellison   So I could just put the words ‘I am nobody but myself’ possibly on my ribs….Any other tattoo ideas my friends?

PS - Wish me luck at my 3^rd 5K on Saturday!

Slow and Steady

For someone who doesn’t count calories or keep track of their food intake, I’m sure I look like a crazy person: weighing my chicken, measuring my vegetables, reading labels and entering calories into my phone app.  But what I have found is, if I am not diligent with these things I give up!  Remember my blog about Failures?  I have done this many times before.  I’ve had ‘mini goals’ and even purchased goal clothing [which, by the way, I have never been able to wear….but this time, I’m very close].  I’ve done weight watchers, calorie counting and other weight loss techniques.  Until this time around, I’ve never been held accountable for these things.  I’d do it for a few weeks but then, I’d slowly allow bad habits to start creeping back into my life. 

You know, it can be embarrassing to be that person  who measures everything out and calculates the calories [especially in a group of people]. And a harmless comment like “oh, just let today be a free day!” or “That one little bite won’t hurt you,” is common from someone who doesn’t know about, or take into consideration my previous failures.  I have taken that one little bite and not counted it, many, many times in my previous attempts at weight loss and look at where it got me…right back to being overweight.

 

Counting calories and having my food diary public holds me accountable to myself, especially knowing others can see what I’m eating and how I’m exercising.  So this time it’s different because I have asked for support, made my journey public and am being held accountable by friends and even “strangers” [thank you myfitnesspal friends].

I certainly don’t want to come off as judgmental and I hope that no one feels that way.  I talk a LOT about calories, exercise, weight loss, and other health related topics.  [Stacy, there is 25 calorie cheese!! J]  I’m sure my dedication and enthusiasm could be misinterpreted and I want to be sure that is not the case.  The reason I’m semi-obsessive about counting calories and exercising, is because this time, I will not allow myself to fail.  I also know that my support system will not allow me to fail either.  One year ago, I started this blog.  Funny enough, my second blog entry was titled "Slow and Steady."  Now, I can giggle about it a little because of how far I have come.  If you have time, go back through and read my old blog entries.  You’ll see a different person because a year ago, I had failed yet again.  Not this time.

It’s an amazing feeling to see so many people getting healthy – whether that’s motivation from me or from somewhere inside themselves.  My friend Jodi now has a walking group who meets at 9 pm every evening in East Jordan.  To know that I was a catalyst to making that happen makes my heart smile.  I hope that I continue to inspire and motivate people to get healthy. 

Just remember to take the small steps and do one thing at a time.  One of Westley & Akira’s favorite books is Goofy’s Big Race.  Donald challenges Goofy to a race through town to an ice cream shop.  Goofy repeats over and over “Slow and Steady, Steady and Slow, That’s the way we always go.”  Guess who won that race? 

Guess who’s going to win MY race?  
Slow and Steady my friends, Slow and Steady.

September 2010 & January 2011 

[There are few full body shots me me!  Both of these are size 18 jeans].

Current!  New Size 12 Jeans [no, not the silvers yet, but getting close]

Halfway There!

I was stuck in this stupid, ugly, rotten, hopeless plateau.  I wasn’t losing weight. I wasn’t losing inches. I was only losing confidence.  Questioning my workouts, my eating, my beverage in-take….questioning everything I was doing [or not doing enough of].  I pushed myself harder and as a result I got nothing but a shin splint and shooting pain into my knee.  Which, of course, led me into a week of no running in order for my leg to recoup and heal [after seeking expert advice]. 

I’ve learned a few lessons during this last week. 

Lesson 1:  I need to be patient with my body during these intense changes.  This is new for me.  Although it has become so routine and normal for me to eat healthier [within my calorie allotment] and to work out on a regular basis, I forget that in the big picture, this is still new.  It’s only been five months.

Lesson 2: I need to push and challenge myself, but stay within my body’s [current] limits.  So maybe running up a big hill isn’t the best idea for me as a newbie runner.  Next time, I’ll challenge myself with sprints or a longer run.  Quite honestly, Zumba/Latin Dance kicks my ass [quite literally], so I think I can lay off running up hills for the moment.  [Thanks Randi for dragging me along to class in the first place!]

Lesson 3: I need to listen to my body.  I’ve been trying to listen in terms of food to eat.  For example, if I’m craving milk, I drink milk;  If I crave certain fruits, I eat them; and if I crave bad stuff [like greasy food or sweets], either Patrick will make me a delicious at-home version or I allow myself a small portion that will satisfy the craving.  [But I still won’t allow myself to eat fast food – giving that up for all of 2011…and maybe forever, I’m starting to not miss it….finally].  Anyway, where I find the lesson here, is I need to listen to my body in terms of exercise.  When I’m feeling tired and over-worked, I need to take a break.  Period.

Yesterday was fantastic.  I decided to take a half day off of work and sleep in.  I woke up to an empty house [kids are with their Dad this week and Patrick was at work].  I showered, got dressed, styled my hair and did my make-up.  Was ready to head out the door, but first I sat at the computer for a second to update my status on Facebook.  It was so quiet.  So I made a pot of coffee and relaxed for a bit.  Then I was realized I could get so much done!  I changed my clothes, put on a bandana and took the day off work!  I mowed our entire lawn [what a sweaty, dirty calorie burn.]  It was an amazing ME day.

Lesson 4:  I need to drink more H20.  Last week in my frenzy to determine “WHAT IS WRONG WITH MY BODY?!” I decided to drink more water.  I haven’t really set a daily goal, I just know want to get up to the recommended 64 ounces per day [as a minimum].  Currently I’m around 40-64 ounces depending on the day.  Sadly, that’s far better than I was doing [which was an embarrassing 4-8 ounces per day…if that]. 

In short, although I do miss running, this past week off has been good [and it helped me break that pesky plateau!]  Yea, you read that right.  The plateau that started this whole two weeks of lessons learned, gone.  I lost 3.5 pounds and now I'm officially half way to my main goal.  I have lost 30 pounds and 30.5 inches.  HALF-WAY through the year [Happy June.] and HALF-WAY to my Goal. 

P.S.  As I sit here on our back porch, sipping a Goose Island 312 [135 calories] and finishing my blog, I realize how wonderful life really is.  


Silver Jeans….here I come.

unMotivated

The last few days I’ve been allowing stress to motivate me…..to not work-out. 

GAH!

The last three days, it’s been like pulling teeth to get myself to work-out; thankfully I have people in my life who do push me when I can’t seem to get moving.  Patrick and I walked two of those days.  It’s a good thing I have him because otherwise I think I would have found a HOLE, crawled in and hid myself….for days. 

My weigh-in yesterday proved my lethargic nature the past few days – I only lost 1 [yes…one] pound.  Well, TECHNICALLY 1.2 pounds.  I know I shouldn't be upset, at least I did lose a pound, but because I lost so much the week before, I expected more.  As my Mother told me, at least it’s a loss and not a gain - so true.  Thanks Mom J

Today, when I got home from work, I was so tired I just couldn’t get myself to run.  Patrick tells me, “Honey, you have to run!  I’ll even get your work-out clothes.”  So as he goes upstairs to get my clothes for me, I snuck into the kids’ room and passed out on Akira’s bed.  He let me sleep for 15-20 minutes which was enough to get me up and moving.  I did my run and it felt good.  Then later we walked for an hour.  

So my advice is: surround yourself with people who will push you to do better than you think you can do.  If I was all alone yesterday, I certainly would have talked myself out of running, but Patrick didn’t allow me to settle for anything less than what he knows I can accomplish. 

Thought I’d provide a little motivation with picture this time.  Here are a couple of before and current pictures of Patrick and me together:

Christmas 2010

May 8, 2011

January 15, 2011

May 8, 2011

I have lost 25 pounds [and 25 inches] and Patrick has lost 23 pounds!   

Doesn't he look great!?  So proud of my husband [who, by the way, had no intention of losing weight, but by supporting me got 'into' it]  

We have turned our lifestyle around from bad habits and bad eating to healthy eating, staying active and supporting each other [and our friends] to do the same!  Oh, and we both quit smoking!  It's a wonderful life!  

http://www.jillianmichaels.com/fitness-and-diet-tips/stress-and-metabolism?xid=nl_LosingItWithJillianMichaels_20110517  

in - spi - ra - tion

Recently, I shared my [once] secret blog to the world, making myself extremely vulnerable and exposed.  Being open about my progress has made me realize that instead of being judged [which was my fear], by being open and honest, it has inspired and motivated others.  I'm assuming people are judging me [when they aren't] because I'm too critical of myself.

To be called an inspiration is such an honor.  Thank you to each and everyone one of you.  I plan to continue to be an inspiration and motivator!  In the last week I have re-read through my blogs and realized how far I have come.  One year ago, I was struggling, falling off the wagon [yet again].  This year, I jumped in with two feet [I'm never going back] and asked for accountability and support from my husband and close friends. 

How are you doing it!?

I started out in January with counting calories.  In February, I added walking and did the 30 day shred by Jillian Michaels.  In March, after I recovered from Pneumonia, I bumped it up and started a Couch to 5k running program [3 days per week of running]. I'm starting week 8!  Patrick and I also walk 3 miles 4 days per week [or at least as much as we can].  I try to squeeze in zumba and swimming when I can.  After my first [running] 5K in June, I'm going to add another day of running per week. 

The biggest help has been counting my calories using My Fitness Pal [also an app on my iPhone].  We don't eat any fast food, I never go over my calories and only sometimes eat back my allotted exercise calories [especially when I exercise more than once per day].  MFP [myfitnesspal] has a 'community' with message boards which has been an endless source of knowledge and support as well!  If you join, please ADD me: amo13

In short: 
I started slow, kept adding more....and here I am!
As of today, I am down 25 pounds, 25 inches and can run for 25 minutes!  [wow...this week is all about 25!]