Friday, June 11, 2010

Here I go.......again.....

In January, I came up with a New Year's Resolution that I thought would be easy to accomplish. Actually, it seems like every year I come up with the same new year's resolution...."lose X amount of pounds," and every year the number goes down...not because I'm losing weight, but because I'm losing hope. I made a goal to lose 30 pounds this year and it's June....I've lost 0 pounds, in fact I've gained a few. I see myself on December 31, 2010 creating my 2011 resolutions.....I see myself disappointed and saying "well, this is a new year." The same that I have done every year.

I do this to myself on a daily basis as well. I'll say, okay, I start eating healthy and exercising. Then, when I mess up, I say, well, there is always tomorrow. Unfortunately, it doesn't change my problem and only feeds it - makes me feel worse.

My poor boyfriend is so amazing. He loves me and tells me I'm beautiful all the time. He doesn't care how I look, he loves me for me. BUT, I cannot imagine being him....trying to touch someone who is afraid of being touched, trying to compliment someone who questions the compliment....all because of my low self esteem. I don't know if losing weight would change my self esteem and self confidence, but I can't imagine it would hurt it any, and I won't know until I get there.

So, I'm here.........again. This time I want it to be different. I want to see myself different in 2011.


  1. You can do it honey! After this baby, I will be right on board with you!

  2. Anora,

    Strong, beautiful, capable, smart, talented! This is how I see you! You know you can do anything you set your sight on. I have seen you do amazing things!!!

  3. Anora, I know how you are feeling been there a million times. Maybe set little goals like I want to lose 5 pounds and that is all. Then when you have reached that reward your self with something that you have really wanted. Then set a goal and say I want to lose 5 pounds and start over. I have found that is where I am at. It is much easier to reach a goal like that then the big one you really want to get to. But most important is you have to love yourself be happy with who you are for what you are. If someone gives you a comeliment smile and say thank you. Which I have to say I have found very hard to do. because my mind starts thinking oh god what did they think of me before. But in talking with my friends, I have learned not to worry about such silly things. just accept it as they ment it. I know I have gone on and on here lol but thats me.. I love you

  4. Anora,

    You have always been a beautiful, intelligent, caring, funny, kind and generous woman.... I know that time and life have drawn us apart, especially in distance, but I will tell you something that I thought about when we first started talking again and something that I witnessed when we visited last year....
    You have always done what you set your mind to- and I'm sure that this is no different. I envy your determination and perseverance.
    Weight is always difficult for people to lose, especially women. But I am confident that if you make up your mind to do this, with the love and support from us (your family and friends)- you can do this!!!

  5. Oh Anora... You can do it! Like your mom said, set smaller more acheivable goals! LIKE 5 pounds... Then once you reach it you will feel like "FO SHO I can do that again!!!" Ya know?!