unMotivated

The last few days I’ve been allowing stress to motivate me…..to not work-out. 

GAH!

The last three days, it’s been like pulling teeth to get myself to work-out; thankfully I have people in my life who do push me when I can’t seem to get moving.  Patrick and I walked two of those days.  It’s a good thing I have him because otherwise I think I would have found a HOLE, crawled in and hid myself….for days. 

My weigh-in yesterday proved my lethargic nature the past few days – I only lost 1 [yes…one] pound.  Well, TECHNICALLY 1.2 pounds.  I know I shouldn't be upset, at least I did lose a pound, but because I lost so much the week before, I expected more.  As my Mother told me, at least it’s a loss and not a gain - so true.  Thanks Mom J

Today, when I got home from work, I was so tired I just couldn’t get myself to run.  Patrick tells me, “Honey, you have to run!  I’ll even get your work-out clothes.”  So as he goes upstairs to get my clothes for me, I snuck into the kids’ room and passed out on Akira’s bed.  He let me sleep for 15-20 minutes which was enough to get me up and moving.  I did my run and it felt good.  Then later we walked for an hour.  

So my advice is: surround yourself with people who will push you to do better than you think you can do.  If I was all alone yesterday, I certainly would have talked myself out of running, but Patrick didn’t allow me to settle for anything less than what he knows I can accomplish. 

Thought I’d provide a little motivation with picture this time.  Here are a couple of before and current pictures of Patrick and me together:

Christmas 2010

May 8, 2011

January 15, 2011

May 8, 2011

I have lost 25 pounds [and 25 inches] and Patrick has lost 23 pounds!   

Doesn't he look great!?  So proud of my husband [who, by the way, had no intention of losing weight, but by supporting me got 'into' it]  

We have turned our lifestyle around from bad habits and bad eating to healthy eating, staying active and supporting each other [and our friends] to do the same!  Oh, and we both quit smoking!  It's a wonderful life!  

http://www.jillianmichaels.com/fitness-and-diet-tips/stress-and-metabolism?xid=nl_LosingItWithJillianMichaels_20110517  

in - spi - ra - tion

Recently, I shared my [once] secret blog to the world, making myself extremely vulnerable and exposed.  Being open about my progress has made me realize that instead of being judged [which was my fear], by being open and honest, it has inspired and motivated others.  I'm assuming people are judging me [when they aren't] because I'm too critical of myself.

To be called an inspiration is such an honor.  Thank you to each and everyone one of you.  I plan to continue to be an inspiration and motivator!  In the last week I have re-read through my blogs and realized how far I have come.  One year ago, I was struggling, falling off the wagon [yet again].  This year, I jumped in with two feet [I'm never going back] and asked for accountability and support from my husband and close friends. 

How are you doing it!?

I started out in January with counting calories.  In February, I added walking and did the 30 day shred by Jillian Michaels.  In March, after I recovered from Pneumonia, I bumped it up and started a Couch to 5k running program [3 days per week of running]. I'm starting week 8!  Patrick and I also walk 3 miles 4 days per week [or at least as much as we can].  I try to squeeze in zumba and swimming when I can.  After my first [running] 5K in June, I'm going to add another day of running per week. 

The biggest help has been counting my calories using My Fitness Pal [also an app on my iPhone].  We don't eat any fast food, I never go over my calories and only sometimes eat back my allotted exercise calories [especially when I exercise more than once per day].  MFP [myfitnesspal] has a 'community' with message boards which has been an endless source of knowledge and support as well!  If you join, please ADD me: amo13

In short: 
I started slow, kept adding more....and here I am!
As of today, I am down 25 pounds, 25 inches and can run for 25 minutes!  [wow...this week is all about 25!]

Beyond the Sweatshirt

Well, it was a beautiful Thursday evening and a scheduled run day.  Every time I run I wear my loose work out pants, a t-shirt and a sweatshirt [with a sexy sweat band too of course].  It’s been cool enough up until this point that I could get away with rolling up the sweatshirt sleeves and only getting a slightly slimy [err…I mean sweaty] back.  i feel most comfortable running all covered up.  I picked up some new workout pants, which fit better than my loose man-pants. 

Since it was a whopping 64 degrees in East Jordan, Michigan at 8 pm last night, I decided to attempt a run sans sweatshirt.  I put on my work out clothes and snapped a couple of quick pictures and sent them to my dear husband [who was headed to work] and actually typed “This is how I’m running tonight and I hope I don’t look like a blob!!”  I definitely still have such a NEGATIVE mind-set with my body image.  He promptly texted back a very complimenting message that gave me enough confidence to just suck it up and run.  Besides [I told myself], you’re running, you’re not in a beauty competition.

So off I went, confidence shrinking the further from my sweatshirt I got.  I always start with a 5 minute warm up walk and end with a 5 minutes cool down walk.  So as I’m walking, I reach the 2^nd block and I notice a car at the stop sign across from me.  [It was a cool looking car with tinted windows.]  I felt a little under the microscope as I realized the car continued forward and slowly drove by me, came around the block and drove by me again.  Honestly, it was probably just some one lost in the metropolis of East Jordan, but either way, I WANTED MY SWEATSHIRT BACK! 

I stayed the course and had an EXCELLENT run – music blaring, feet pounding, and sweat dripping.  I passed another runner [half way through my run] who gave me the thumbs-up; I waved and felt a SMILE spread across my face.  During the last 5 minutes of my run I passed by some people I know and got a huge compliment “You’re my hero!” and I almost jumped out of my skin with excitement.  In those two instances all I could think is…I’m doing this!

So, this is my 2^nd week of running 25 minutes straight [previously I was on a run/walk routine] and I have to say, it feels fantastic.  I have to figure out a new route now though, because I’m up to 2.5 miles and have to do a lot of back tracking.  So that’s next on my agenda! 

Here are the pictures I sent to my husband, Patrick [sorry for the shitty iPhone quality]:

 

Looking at these today, I think I look decent [especially considering where I started this journey].  I think if it was anyone else I’d be more uplifting.  So turning this around and complimenting myself, I would say that I'm starting to LOOK GOOD and my “mommy tummy” […yea, I know, Akira is 4] is disappearing. 

The support I received before making my blog public has been huge to my success: a humongous THANK YOU to the people who have PUSHED me the most the last four months [you know who you are *thumbs up] and of course to my new friends on MFP.

 

After making my blog public, I was surprised by the support [not to mention the compliments *blush*].  I even got some text messages and private messages [on FB] which all TOTALLY made my day and I thank you all for the continued love and support. 

I promise I won’t post pictures of myself every day!  However, knowing that many of you are fighting similar struggles as me [or are just beginning your journey], I hope you find the pictures motivating.  I weigh in on Sunday, so expect another blog from me then.

Until then, keep moving, eat right and support each other.  We all have our battles, no matter our starting size and progress.   

This CANNOT be me!?

First I want to say, as of today, I've lost 23 pounds and 25 inches.

I was so proud when I put on these particular pants a few weeks ago...used my "tummy sucker thing" to let them fit perfectly, strutted into the office.  I felt pretty awesome wearing these pants.  Especially since the last time I tried to wear them they wouldn't even come up past my thighs!

On occasion I will wear them, but not terribly often because I hate wearing the "tummy sucker thing."  I decided to give them a shot today fresh out of the wash.  I successfully pulled them on with no "tummy sucker thing" and they are loose in my waist and thighs.  It feels great to wear them to work today knowing that I'm wearing them without any support from undergarments and they are loose!

I do not own a full length mirror, but I caught a glimpse of my reflection in my work window and had to share in my excitement.  This can't be me!?  I should be far more bulgy and lumpy.  I quickly flipped through some photos of me from 2009 when I bought my new car and was wearing the same outfit (the last time I can remember really wearing this outfit).  It was tight on me through the thighs then.  The pants fit me better now than they did before! :o

This is me in 2009 when I bought my car.
You can see my reflection in the car.
The pants are tight through my thighs.
And my shirt is a little tight.

This is me today!  My pants are loose, my shirt is loose.  I'm in shock!

It's Time to Celebrate!

I'd like to take a moment to review my successes since January 17th:

1) I have lost 20 pounds
2) I have lost 20 inches
3) I have QUIT smoking
4) I have given up fast food
5) I exercise [in some way] every day

These are some REAL big successes and I'm celebrating [via blog].

I've decided that at each 20 pound loss, I'm going to capture my success by taking my picture in my wedding dress - as reminder of my [heaviest] starting point and how far I have come!

Three Months & 25% to my goal!

For the month of April I have committed to not looking at the scale.  Yea....well, it seemed like a good idea at the time!  So here I am two weeks into April and I'm feeling down about my inability to "track" my progress.  So put together this collage of photos from late December/early January until this past Monday.

The worst thing that I do to myself, is I tie my success in getting healthy to a number on a scale.  That number doesn't define my results!  With the help of my husband, I've been talking through some of these conflicting thoughts of scale results versus actual physical results.  I started to really looked at myself and I can see (and feel) muscle definition in my legs, my stomach is getting smaller, and I have a chin again!  These are things I have failed to recognize previously because I was so obsessed with the number on the scale.

Does this mean I won't ever weigh myself again?  It absolutely does NOT mean that.  You can bet your ass that I will be on the scale, May 1st, as soon as I wake up.  With that said, I think what this challenge has given me is the ability to see success in other forms - progress in my running, muscles developing, and clothes not fitting (because they are too small).

25% there.  I can do this.

My third month...

So much has changed since January!  Last I knew I have lost 14 pounds, 16 inches, gained some muscle and endurance, quit smoking....oh the achievements seem endless.  Only (almost) three months in and I feel like I am creating a new life.

Took Westley (who's 6 1/2) with me running tonight.  He did great!  I love seeing how the kids are realizing how important exercise and being healthy is to me.  We don't eat fast food, we make stuff at home or choose responsibly at a restaurant (on occasion).

I tried on my wedding dress in March and was SHOCKED at how much bigger it was - mostly because I couldn't believe I was that big.  Started looking through wedding photos and almost cried....but then I had to bring myself back to reality and say - look, you're working on changing and see how far you've come!  :)

I have committed to this month (April) of not looking at the scale or taking measurements.  I think the reason I accepted this challenge is because I have made this into a lifestyle change and by not looking at the scale I am forced to concentrate on that instead of the thrill of the loss (or disappointment of no loss).

I can do this.  I can.