Long overdue

I keep thinking, man it's been so long since I've blogged...I have so much to say!  But when I actually make a moment to write, my mind goes blank.  So I apologize in advance if this blog isn't very succinct.  

The last couple of months have been pretty taxing, not just for me and my family, but for everyone.  The subzero temperatures have made this winter nearly impossible to enjoy, plus the frigid temps have wrecked havoc on vehicles and homes.  It's hard to stay positive and set goals when it's all "doom and gloom" everywhere.  However, I feel during difficult times is when setting goals is most important.

At the beginning of February, we changed to a new gym that is closer to home which includes far less equipment and people.  The atmosphere was completely different than what I had become accustom to, which I actually unexpectedly have grown to like.  I thought I would miss the social aspect from the gym I had been previously attending.  However, quite the opposite has happened.  Without this becoming any sort of pity party, I would like to share a moment of realization that I had.  Reflecting with a friend the other day on how I missed the old gym faces, I realized that no one from our previous gym has messaged me, called or texted....at this point, it's been three weeks.  I have reached out with a comment or two on Facebook posts but with barely an awknowledgement in return.  This has forced me to take a deep look inward.

I am working out to impress noone, except myself.  

I am working out to compete with noone, but myself.  

I do not need acceptance from anyone, except from myself.  

I never realized how heavily I still relied on others for motivation, acceptance and approval, particularly during my gym time!  I'm saddened to no longer see those faces, but I also realize they had become a crutch for me.  I know that in passing there would be (and have been) a limited, but friendly exchange of hellos. That'll do. 

This last week in particular has been freeing.  I have been forced to challenge myself.  I also have two accountabili-buddies, my  best friend Jodi and my husband.  They  push me to do my personal best and hold me accountable to my exercise and eating.  They've always been there all along, but were overshadowed by my desire to fit in with the "gym crowd."  

A week and a half ago I set up a mini goal to lose 2 pounds in a week.  See, from November through mid-February I lost zero pounds, still gymed the same number of days in a week yet lost not a pound.  After changing gyms, I admittedly struggled the first couple weeks.  I went and I was able to focus on running, but still felt a little deflated.  Jodi and I had a couple of deep conversations about our goals and frustrations which has in turn, helped to intensify our workouts.  Also helps that the stressors that were holding me back have subsided.  We are in a groove, and feeling accomplished.  I met (well, exceeded) my goal for the first week.   This week I want to lose another 2 pounds and Sunday I'll weigh in.  I've really honed in my eating, strictly weighing and measuring everything and counting calories. This won't be how I eat forever, but it's what is best for me right now.  I still drink my shakes due to convenience, but I count those calories just the same.  

So back to the importance of goals! During the easy times, it's just that....easy.  But during the hard times, I know that I need to set smaller goals.  Setting goals gives me something to look forward to and push towards.  Something to, in a sense, give me tunnel vision and force me to focus.  

So although I never stopped, although I have kept on going, somehow I can still say I'm back!

Top left - I have some arm muscles!  

Top right - my sweaty buddy and I 

Bottom left - great workout!

Bottom right - I cut my own shirt...first attempt, need more

Practice :)

(Please note that I understand larger gyms with lots of equipment, people and support is not necessarily a bad thing and it's what some people need - it's what I needed for quite a while!)

Time to get Uncomfortable

Remember when you first started working out and you could barely walk because your muscles were so sore?  Remember when your body was losing weight and inches quickly because exercising and eating right was all new and confused your body?  Remember when making yourself go to the gym took a lot of support from others?

I remember that too.  I remember when it was all new, exciting, and challenging.  Then sometime into my second 90-day challenge, I got comfortable.  I hit a plateau and my progress ceased.  I still went to the gym regularly, had my ViSalus shakes regularly and I didn't gain anything back (thankfully).  I was just doing it all out if habit and keeping myself consistent.  

My friend reached out to me and said something along the lines of being fearful of going back to old bad habits.  That's when it hit me (and her)....we need to get our asses in gear again.  We are too comfortable.  We need to push it.  Consistency and new habits are great, but we are not going to see results unless we push beyond our current abilities for more.  

So instead of "going to the gym" to create a habit (that's already done), we need to go to literally work our asses off. We have also started logging our daily diets on myfitnesspal again.  Drinking shakes does not make us invinsible from eating poorly (which includes not eating enough or eating too much).  We are taking it 30 days at a time.  My First goal is to lose 10 pounds by March 1.  So it's sort of like when we first started as far as needing support and accountability.  Except this time instead of creating new healthy habits, we are fine tuning those habits and pushing beyond our current limits. 

Slow and Steady

For someone who doesn’t count calories or keep track of their food intake, I’m sure I look like a crazy person: weighing my chicken, measuring my vegetables, reading labels and entering calories into my phone app.  But what I have found is, if I am not diligent with these things I give up!  Remember my blog about Failures?  I have done this many times before.  I’ve had ‘mini goals’ and even purchased goal clothing [which, by the way, I have never been able to wear….but this time, I’m very close].  I’ve done weight watchers, calorie counting and other weight loss techniques.  Until this time around, I’ve never been held accountable for these things.  I’d do it for a few weeks but then, I’d slowly allow bad habits to start creeping back into my life. 

You know, it can be embarrassing to be that person  who measures everything out and calculates the calories [especially in a group of people]. And a harmless comment like “oh, just let today be a free day!” or “That one little bite won’t hurt you,” is common from someone who doesn’t know about, or take into consideration my previous failures.  I have taken that one little bite and not counted it, many, many times in my previous attempts at weight loss and look at where it got me…right back to being overweight.

 

Counting calories and having my food diary public holds me accountable to myself, especially knowing others can see what I’m eating and how I’m exercising.  So this time it’s different because I have asked for support, made my journey public and am being held accountable by friends and even “strangers” [thank you myfitnesspal friends].

I certainly don’t want to come off as judgmental and I hope that no one feels that way.  I talk a LOT about calories, exercise, weight loss, and other health related topics.  [Stacy, there is 25 calorie cheese!! J]  I’m sure my dedication and enthusiasm could be misinterpreted and I want to be sure that is not the case.  The reason I’m semi-obsessive about counting calories and exercising, is because this time, I will not allow myself to fail.  I also know that my support system will not allow me to fail either.  One year ago, I started this blog.  Funny enough, my second blog entry was titled "Slow and Steady."  Now, I can giggle about it a little because of how far I have come.  If you have time, go back through and read my old blog entries.  You’ll see a different person because a year ago, I had failed yet again.  Not this time.

It’s an amazing feeling to see so many people getting healthy – whether that’s motivation from me or from somewhere inside themselves.  My friend Jodi now has a walking group who meets at 9 pm every evening in East Jordan.  To know that I was a catalyst to making that happen makes my heart smile.  I hope that I continue to inspire and motivate people to get healthy. 

Just remember to take the small steps and do one thing at a time.  One of Westley & Akira’s favorite books is Goofy’s Big Race.  Donald challenges Goofy to a race through town to an ice cream shop.  Goofy repeats over and over “Slow and Steady, Steady and Slow, That’s the way we always go.”  Guess who won that race? 

Guess who’s going to win MY race?  
Slow and Steady my friends, Slow and Steady.

September 2010 & January 2011 

[There are few full body shots me me!  Both of these are size 18 jeans].

Current!  New Size 12 Jeans [no, not the silvers yet, but getting close]